Sunday, February 12, 2012

A Wet Dream ON Elm Street (2011)

Another stupid horror-porn-parody from the 2000's. Apparently there was a porno film of the same title in 1990 but I have never seen that one and I couldn't even find much information about it. So does that mean that this is a remake of the 90's film? Who cares...

I guess I can be grateful that A Wet Dream On Elm Street (2011) wasn't quite as hard to sit through as the 1992 Freddy parody A Nightmare On Dyke Street which could possibly be the worst porn parody I have ever seen.

Like Dyke Street the new  2011 parody offers a burnt Freddy with a glove that comes complete with sex toys for fingers. In Dyke Street Freddy's fingers were anal beads of some sort that he never really inserted anywhere. This time around he has vibrators for fingers and he doesn't really put them to use here either. On the plus side Freddy's makeup is much better in this movie and we even get a bit of a back story.

Freddy was some what of a sleaze merchant. Or a smut peddler if you will. He sold over priced sex toys out of the trunk of his car to local perverts. Eventually the towns people had enough of Freddy and burned him alive. Freddy swore vengeance on the people who killed him. Now Freddy haunts the local teenagers in there dreams and leaves them in a comatose state of constant orgasm.

Yes the story is fucking dumb but what would you expect? At least they offered something of a story unlike so many other porn parodies that come out these days. This one also offers up a few laughs, mainly from our protagonist. In one of the best scenes a girl calls our gloved villain Jason and he replies "It's fucking Freddy". and speaking of Jason I have to admit I also liked this one better then Official Friday The 13th Parody.

The girls are average and none of them offer anything very unique or memorable. One of them is a bit on the chunky side with giant swinging utters. Then we have a screechy voiced brunette who spits and slobbers all over the place. We get a skinny bitch in a prison dream with microscopic breasts and I suppose the hottest scene in the movie is a solo masturbation scene with a brunette who pleases herself with Freddy's glove.

This thing was directed by Lee Roy Myers, the same clown who did The Humansexipede (First Sequence : A Porn Parody). Apparently Myers is making a career of doing all porn parody's. Maybe one day he will get one right.

I really wouldn't recommend this movie to anybody unless they have some sort of burn victim fetish and if that is the case I think you would be better off watching The Burning. However the dvd does have a really funny extra called Freddy's Sex Tips. Check that out for some awesome sex advice from a old burnt up pervert.

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